Our next staff pick on a book that had the power to change a life is from our esteemed principal Adam Wasik. Today he discusses an oldie but a goodie and one that I, personally, feel should be on everyone’s reading list. Enjoy.
RL: OK, tell me about the book that changed your life!
Adam Wasik: So How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie changed my life as a teenager and young twenty-something person. Just thinking about the impact that you can have on the world with small and simple interactions reminds me of Etienne de Grellet, a Quaker missionary, who said “I will pass this way but once, so any good that I can do or any kindness that I can pass on has to be now, for I will not pass this way again.” That idea fundamentally changed my life.
One time I was on the 99 B line to UBC and we were on Broadway, on one of the most chaotic routes in Vancouver. It was so packed, I was standing, reading my book and the bus driver was so smooth, I didn’t even have to hang on to the bar. When we got to the end, I remembered from the book that idea that if you’ve got an opportunity to praise excellence or give a gift to somebody in the way of genuine praise, do it in that opportunity. So I walked up to the bus driver and said, “You are the best bus driver, I’ve ever experienced in my life”. And he sort of teared up. and was profoundly grateful.
It takes only a few seconds to share blessings or share kindness to recognize genuine goodness. And even though it’s not explicitly Christian, Dale Carnegie was a practicing Christian, as many people were at that time. Yet the teachings of Christ really permeate the book and I love that it is for anybody and has impacted so many people.
Rebekah Loconte: One of my most memorable takeaways from that book was the power of remembering someone’s name or trying to remember something that they said the last time you met with them and bringing it up the next time you see them because people appreciate when you make them feel valued. That’s important.
AW: That reminds me a little bit of Teddy Roosevelt who, as president of the United States, was a pretty eccentric guy. For example, he boxed the heavyweight champion of the world on the White House lawn. But he remembered every person. He lost the re-election but he came back to the White House and remembered the gardener’s, his wife’s, and their children’s name. He also remembered the cooks, and the house cleaner’s names. And this is the man who was the most powerful man in the world but he remembered how important it was for the dignity and the humanity of that person who was doing the gardening. And the story goes that each of those staff members were in tears after meeting him because the next president pretended they didn’t even exist and didn’t actually recognize their value and their humanity.
RL: You mentioned that you read it as a teenager. How were you first introduced to it?
AW: I don’t even remember. Somebody must have handed it to me.
RL: Do you often or have you often revisited the book?
AW: I’ve revisited it once and passed it on, but I think the things that I needed stuck with me so strongly.
RL: Okay. What’s next up next?
AW: Right now I’m reading a book called The Tears of Things, which is by Catholic Theologian, Richard Rohr. Trish Joyce recommended that one to me and I’m loving it so far. It’s about the prophets of the Old Testament and exploring how we can give them give an honest read and think about their journey from anger, rage, injustice, with the unfaithfulness of Israel and wrestling with God’s wrath and eventually being on this path to finding a new understanding of God’s love and God’s grace and forgiveness and his love for his people.
RL: Okay, final question. Why should anyone read Dale’s book in a single statement?
AW: If you internalize How to win Friends and Influence People, it will impact the way you interact with every person for the rest of your life.
RL: Agreed.. Thank you so much.
AW: Thank you.
